The Coffee Maker
by astareltheweeper
Summary: MSR morning after fluff. Harmless fun.


Disclaimer: Moose and Squirrel belong to Chris Carter, 1013, Fox and whoever else makes money outta them. They ain't mine, I just let them out to play when no one's looking.

Spoilers: None whatsoever. Dunno where on the timeline this is. Logially it's probably somewhere between All Things and Requiem but I didn't write it with any particular timeframe in mind.

xxxxx

"Mulder... we... really... should... get up... mmmmm... stop that!"

Dana was trying her best to speak in between the light kisses that Mulder was planting on her lips. Of course, she certainly didn't want to go anywhere, but they had to go to work. The FBI was just waiting for an excuse to shut down the X-Files... it was when his lips were starting to find their way down her neck that she had to muster the strength of will to push him over.

"We have to go Mulder."

Dana propped her head up on her elbow and smiled fondly at Mulder, who had buried his face in the pillow like a small child. She poked him playfully.

"Come on sleepyhead."

He caught her off guard by grabbing her wrist and looking up with a glint in his eye. Before she could stop him, he had taken her other wrist, and pulled her on top of him, holding her arms down tight.

"Mulder!"

A giggle escaped her lips.

"I am by no means sleepy Agent Scully."

He kissed her soundly on the mouth, completely muffling whatever it was she had been about to say. She had no particular objection to being silenced in this manner and deepened the kiss almost immediately. He quickly forgot about restraining her and wound his hands about her waist. Her hands found their way into his hair and for the next ten minutes, all thoughts of going to work were completely abandoned. It was only when the snooze button had to be hit for the third time that Dana reluctantly disentangled herself from her partner and got up.

She stood in front of the bed with her hands on her hips for several moments, well aware that Mulder could see the look she was wearing and also aware of the angelic grin that was crossing his face. Sighing as she slipped her bathrobe on over her silk pyjamas, she picked up Mulder's shirt and tossed it at his head.

"You'd better get up if you want to keep your job."

He smiled and turned to respond with a quip but she had already left. He could hear the sound of her slippers as she shuffled into the kitchen. He lay back for a moment, revelling in the normal morning sounds that he was getting so quickly accustomed to; the sound of her feet as she wandered around in her slippers, the weird clicking sound her coffee machine made, her humming softly under her breath, something he was sure he had never heard her do before, in all the time that he had known her. Yes, Mulder thought he could get used to this.

Dana had finally finished doing battle with her stubborn coffee maker. It kept making this weird clicking sound that she found incessantly irritating. Mulder had suggested fixing it more than once, but he always got distracted. Dana had to admit to herself that she was to blame for this outcome, and therefore couldn't blame him for not having fixed it sooner. She wasn't even sure he knew how to fix it, but she thought it would be amusing to watch anyway. She made a mental note to herself that she should remind him about it later. She was just buttering some toast when she felt his arms slip gently around her waist from behind her.

"Hey."

He rested his chin on her shoulder and she leaned back into his warmth and turned her head slightly to look up into his eyes.

"Hey yourself."

He kissed her softly.

"Mmm... you have bad morning breath Mulder. Go brush your teeth."

"That hurts Scully. I think I'll stay, just to spite you."

He reached around her and taking her hands in his, continued buttering the toast.

"See, I can be helpful."

Scully laughed.

"What do you want, a gold star?"

"That would be nice actually. A little thanks every now and again Scully, that's all I ask."

"I'm sorry, I wasn't under the impression that you had been doing anything that warranted a thank you."

"Was it that bad Scully?"

Mulder pretended to sound hurt.

"If I make your ego any bigger you won't be able to get through the door anymore."

"I'll take that as a no..."

He grinned devilishly.

"If you want to be helpful, you could fix the coffee maker."

Dana ducked under Mulder's arm and went over to aforementioned coffee maker to pour out two cups.

"Why, what's wrong with it?"

"Can't you hear that annoying clicking sound it always makes?"

"No."

He looked at her innocently. Well, as innocently as a guy in boxers and an unbuttoned shirt with what looked suspiciously like a smudge of his partner's lipstick on the collar can look.

"Mulder, I'm NOT hearing things, you're just afraid that you can't fix it."

She swatted him with a dishcloth. There was a challenge in her voice.

"Oh, well if I'm so incapable why haven't you fixed it?"

"That thing's got it in for me... it'd probably spew coffee all over me if I tried to do anything with it."

"I'm sorry, did my sceptical partner just accuse her coffee machine of having a vendetta against her?"

Mulder's mouth hung open in a mixture of feigned and actual surprise.

"Okay fine, let me prove it to you. I work in facts, proof, evidence. Well here you go."

Dana unplugged the machine and opened the fitting at the back. The machine gurgled for a minute and then sprayed coffee all over her white bathrobe. She looked at him with an 'I told you so' expression on her face. Mulder looked back at her in shock.

"How did it...? It wasn't even... huh, a demon coffee maker!"

Dana shrugged, regretting that it had cost her favourite bathrobe to prove her point. She removed it, balled it up and went to put it in the laundry basket. When she got back, Mulder was cautiously plugging the coffee maker back in.

"Mulder, are you gonna fix it for me?"

Mulder shook his head solemnly, backing slowly away from the machine.

"Uh-uh. Let's not aggravate it Scully, you never know what it might do."

"Mulder..."

Scully was looking at him with one eyebrow raised; her trademark expression. Mulder wasn't sure how to tell her that it really didn't have its usual intimidating expression when she was wearing pink satin pyjamas and polar bear slippers.

"Where did you get those anyway?"

Scully followed his line of vision to her feet.

"Melissa. Why?"

He shrugged.

"They're cute."

Another grin.

"Indeed... why are you changing the topic? You're not gonna fix it are you?"

Mulder took a sip of his coffee and shook his head.

"Nope."

"Muuulderrr." she groaned. "Please, the damn thing drives me crazy."

"No way Scully, I value my life. Besides, I quite like the sound it makes actually."

"It doesn't irritate you?"

"Not at all, quite the opposite actually."

She looked at him suspiciously.

"Mulder, if you have some sort of weird coffee maker fetish, I want to know about it before we get any further into this relationship."

He laughed openly.

"The ever suspicious Dr. Scully."

He took another sip of coffee and his eyes twinkled at her in amusement over the rim of the mug.

"No I don't... although that reminds me, I do have an inflatable friend that will be moving in with us."

Scully made the sort of face that he imagined she would make at a dog who was trying to bring a dead rat into the house. He grinned, feeling only slightly guilty at the amount of enjoyment he got from winding her up like that.

"Actually no, I just like the sound because it reminds me of you."

He moved forward so that he was looking directly down into her face. Her eyes looked back at him; intensely blue.

"Are you saying that an annoying clicking sound reminds me of you? Gee Mulder, you shouldn't have..."

"I've always loved the way you wilfully misinterpret me Scully. It just reminds me of how it feels... to be here, like this... with you."

He felt a bit embarrassed at the momentary crack in his macho exterior.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were going soft on me Mulder."

She stood up on her tiptoes and draped her arms around his neck, her pyjama top raising to reveal her navel.

"Really?"

He rested his hands on her hips, his thumbs gently stroking her skin.

"Well, I'm guessing that being compared to a coffee maker is about as romantic a line as I'm going to get from you."

She was pulling his head closer to hers.

"Scully, that's not fair. I didn't _compare_ you to a coffee maker."

Their lips were almost touching.

"Mulder."

"Mmmm?"

As she spoke, her lips brushed against his.

"We're late for work."

She pulled away and flashed him one of her thousand watt smiles as she went down the hall to get dressed. Mulder sighed and let his hands drop to his sides.

"This is your fault." he addressed the coffee maker before going to get dressed.

Author's Note:

Huh...well...em... I'm not sure what to say really! I was just messing around when I started this, I had no intention of ever actually posting it! I don't know if anyone else will find it funny... perhaps I'm just easily amused. I hope it was reasonably in character, cause it would annoy me if it isn't. C&C welcome. Hope you enjoyed, please let me know if you did. :D I had lots of fun writing it anyway...


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